READ THIS BLOG. please :)

Ehlo kiddos! Fancy meeting you here. I would like you all to know that just a measly 3 hours ago I had intentions of coming home from work, cleaning out my closets, and doing laundry. TWO hours ago a friend sent me down a rathole of insta memes. Which leads me to:

"Fack it. I'll just drink wine and blog instead"

Leads me to my second biggest first world problem I have been having lately. Two songs have been pulling at my heart strings and I just can't decide which one I like more! Closer vs Never be Like You 

Alright so that was a fun little interactive session. Let's move on to the story telling portion shall we? Great. Too bad I've got nothing super great to tell.

Hmmm.... WELL OK. So a few gal pals and I decided to go to the Angry Orchard... brewery? this past weekend "upstate." (Gawd I'm such a city slicker) We arrive at the most adorable lil brewery ever which we zoom through to get our free tasting. Mind you these tastings are pretty decent size so naturally we consume the bevvies and think "WE SHOULD GET MORE!" So we try to get more and they're like no way jose. No more than the tastings. WUT. I just commuted a solid 2 hrs to come up here and I don't even love cider. GIVE ME MORE! Quick thinking on our part and we zoom off to a nearby winery

Welllllll let's just say this winery is in a dingy lil basement with some random townie playing Tom Petty songs in the corner (my favorite part.) My least favorite part was by far the smell. The crew said it smelled like a basement; I thought it smelled like dead bodies. Difference of opinion.... Anywho after a few pours I ask the woman if they grow the grapes on site to which she bluntly replies "No." OH OK. SWEET. I see you upstaters have a friendly personality and DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF BEING A WINERY. I felt lied to and hurt. Thank goodness there was wine around to soothe the pain. HA jk jk.  Anyway we finished our tasting and headed back to the city. Four hours of commuting... 1.5 hrs of drinking. We got it backwards this time folks. Disclaimer! We always have designated drivers and you all should as well! 

Regardless of the lil bumps in the road it actually was a very enjoyable time and I HIGHLY recommend the Knotty Pear Angry Orchard Cider. It tastes like Christmas in a glass!! (FYI my autocorrect just changed Christmas to Christians which was so funny I had to tell everyone. Christians in a glass... just what everyone wants when they think of drinking cider hahaha)

Cheers kiddos! Chat soon!

Forgive Me, NYC for I Have Sinned

Alright alright. I feel like it's my moral obligation to admit my ass-holiness. (sorry mom and dad) I was THAT person last Thursday night but TO BE FAIR. I have to deal with about 300 of THOSE people every single day. So whatever. Thursday was my turn.

I hadn't seen one of my friends in what seemed like ages because of this lil thing called work. So as I resurfaced and she returned from vacation, we met up at a bar called Wined Up. So cute right?! We had some drinks and gave big ol' grins to the cute Irish bartender and then carried on our way. My gal pal went uptown and I got to wander my way a few blocks home.

I get to my corner. NO not like the corner that some ladies who work the night shift stand at... like the corner that marks my home is close. I start crossing the street when a cab starts honking at me. I jump back up on the curb and he stops right in front of me. We LITERALLY scream at each other for a bit. Him telling me to get the eff out of the street. Me telling him to learn how to effing drive. Him telling me he has the right away. Me telling him that he is effing blind ... and then... I realize. He had the light and I was in the wrong....

He drives away and I turn around to see a woman clutching her children to which I say "can we just pretend I had the right away?! I can't stand these cab drivers!" She looks all bewildered and shakes her head and says. "Yes. Yes we can."

OOPS.

"Pokemon Go" is the same in every language

Today I went on an 8 mile walk (inspired by the Olympics of course), and as you all know, NYC has quite the diversity. This means no surprise when I say a BAZILLO different languages are spoken. Funny enough as I was wandering north, I kept hearing "pokemon go" sprinkled among all the various conversations... in all the various languages.

As I was starting to wind down my walk I hear quick feet approaching from behind me followed by boys voices yelling at one another... so let me just say that this is just RUDE to do if 1. there's not an emergency and 2. you're not trying to rob me. I quickly move to the side slash turn around to see what is sprinting at me. Next thing I hear is "IS THE CHARIZARD OVER HERE!?! GO GO GO!!" I actually stood speechless for a few minutes and watched as they ran back and forth on 73rd street looking for a nonexistent character. This is me judging.

Don't worry. I'm not judging pokemon go players. I'm judging people who are legit letting it take over their lives.

Let It Go

When I walked into Trader Joe's tonight and heard Let It Go blasting from the speakers, I knew I must blog. I for sure had a Mary Tyler Moore moment in TJ's. Just took my red basket and spun around in circles, glitter floating down from the ceiling, pretending all of my life's dreams had come to fruition in a dingy lil grocery store in lower Manhattan. 

JK it was awful. Lines were super long. People were shouting. Fruit was rolling around on the floor. Thank GOD for Idina Menzel ... or Adele Dazeem if you're John Travolta. 

Ok so this blog ALMOST is about bros again. It was either Sex and the City or The Real Housewives of New York... but ONE of those shows talked about how Manhattan is so small that you run into your dates all the time OR you end up dating somebody your friend had already gone on a date with. WELL. It happened. 

Ok so I did my research. The island is 23 sq miles and 1.6M people live in just Manhattan alone. So... the likelihood of me running into somebody I went on a date with should really be slim to none. Now that the stage is set. I shall continue

Yesterday I went to my friend's bday party on the UWS. < city speak for upper west side. We went to the Boat Basin which is essentially a bar underneath an overpass which makes it impossible to have a conversation cuz... those acoustics. Perfect if you hate the company you're with. It was unfortunate for me because I did actually like the company and what's even worse... I went with THE quietest friend I have. So essentially I got to practice lip reading. Not always my strongest skill. #silverlining

As I stroll into the bar looking for the crew, I'm maneuvering through crowds of people and there he is. Right there in front of me. Some guy I met a year and a half ago. I wasn't attracted to him but he was from Nebraska so I figured I should give him a shot. Most of you are probably trying to figure out which bro this one is from the blog. Turns out I don't ACTUALLY blog about every bro interaction. He never made it on here. Super nice guy but just wasn't gonna work out. Lucky for him... I saw him randomly so he finally made the blog! yay! 

Because I'm a mature individual ... I completely ignored him and kept walking. We're not gonna turn this guy into a "Vday steve" situation. Cmon now. 

"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted"

THAT is an Italian proverb that was so nicely printed on my wine bag. I couldn't agree more with the statement.

I don't even know where to start. I feel like I've had so much happen and yet nothing at all. Well to start we can discuss my day. I attempted to go to Central Park to get tan and I legit thought I was going to die from heat stroke. It's hot as sin outside and I don't own a drop of sunscreen so basically I was just testing my luck with life. After a grand total of about 13.2 minutes I found myself an ice cream truck and walked myself to a diner. YES. I got ice cream and THEN went to lunch. And YES. I ate by myself. This is New York, son. Ain't no shame.

As a side note... heard this song at the gym (things you do when you eat lunch after you eat dessert) today and love it so much. Click the liiiink!

Get Turnt

And if you'd like to buy those neat lil glasses pictured above, I found them at Fish Eddy in Manhattan. I did not buy them but it's because I don't have enough space to host people and I thought it might be weird to drink out of "turnt" glasses ... by myself...

The next couple weeks will be nuts. I'm supposed to be in JERSEY this weekend... followed by a trip to the Minnie after that!! yay!

Trader Joe's: The Trilogy

Sometimes I just feel like somebody upstairs must be messing with me. I'm standing in line at Trader Joe's because yes, I spent a lot of money on things like shoes and working out so yes, I needed to save money and shop at Trader Joe's. It's called budgeting kids. It used to be my job.

But first... the shoes...

Ok so now that we've had that moment... back to TJ's. I'm waiting in line AND THERE'S ANOTHER FIGHT. I just was beside myself. Three older women yelling at each other for the same reason as the last time... someone was not moving fast enough in the line. TJ's is starting to become the new age Fight Club. 

Anyway anyway. Remember when this blog used to be about beers and bros? I need to get back to that. It's just my friend and I have a theory that the bros left the island for the summer but they'll be back for "hibernating" season. Their term. Not mine. I do think, in general, all the bros moved to Brooklyn. All the bros with their short pants, sock game, and boat shoes on point. < that right there is not a grammatically correct sentence and I'm not even going to correct it. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE.

I'll be back soon with more bro related blogs. I mean I AMMMM going to Chicago soon and who doesn't just absolutely loove a midwesty bro?!  

 

"Some days you gotta dance"

Holy eff. THIS week. has been something else. I attempted to do as my 22 year old self used to do and worked full days and went out all night. As a side note... starting Monday out with a Dixie Chicks concert is the best slash worst idea ever. Monday night I felt like a 16 yr old girl reliving all of her childhood memories through the songs of DC. Then Tuesday rolled around and I quickly remembered that I am indeed NOT 16 and that I need more than 5 hrs of sleep to be a functioning human the next day. Whatever. This song sums up most of the feels.

But then of course Tuesday night I had dinner plans so I didn't let the tired-ness bring me down. Off to SoHo for a nice lil din din.

Wednesday morning I'm still dragging because again... I'm like not so young anymore. So I do that thing where I tell everyone the whole "I'm-not-doing-anything-I-need-sober-days" type of thing. So it's 5:30 and I'm leaving to go to a kick boxing class (this could be a whole other blog post). I hop in the elevator to be greeted by 2 of our General Managers and they quickly say "Ash! You're coming to dinner with us!" FACK. Guess we're doing this. Dinner. Drinks. Many hours later I head home.

Wake up Thursday morning really thinking I can't possibly do 2 more days of this but I'm no quitter! But actually I sort of am. I snuck out of work at 5 on the dot and sat quietly in my apartment for the entire night. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER.

Friday and Saturday were jam packed with normal weekend shenanigans.

So here I am on Sunday... and par to the course on me not being able to stick with my convictions for too long... I gave up on the eating out every single meal because I hate cooking. Well technically I still have eaten out for every meal for about the last month but after I had ALL YOU CAN EAT SOUP AND SALAD AT THE OLIVE GARDEN and a COOKIE DOUGH BLIZZARD FROM DQ #chainfoodisthebestfood I went to the store and I bought things for meals. That's right. I'm going to try cooking again. And by cooking I mean microwaving pre-packaged meals. WISH ME LUCK.

And just because I feel like sharing what I've got my sights on (hint hint. I accept gifts) These will be mine. Now I can add fashion blogger to the blogging resume. ;)

This post has no plot... just like the musical I saw on Friday

Oh man. What a weekend!

The weekend started out with me walking out of an off broadway musical. YES. It happened. I reached the point in my New Yorker life that I know enough about that "popular" culture thing and can just walk out if things if they suck. JK JK. I'm not a huge art snob but the musical literally was THAT bad that I had to leave.

Saturday was filled with a Minnesota reunion. Nothing crazy happened. Just your usual bar hopping, boozy Saturday.

This leads me to today. Somehow I wake up bright and early and I'm ready to go shopping with my gal pal at Bloomies. We quickly get over that whole shopping thing because we're STARVING. As we're walking down 2nd Ave, we somehow get on the topic of apartments. My friend starts saying "Yea I mean I would like to have a little bigger of a kitchen and a bedroom." To which I respond "Yea me too!" And then the normal side of my brain kicked in and I realized... You two are grown ass women and all you want to be able to afford is a bedroom!? #newyork

That's right. If you don't remember... I live in 200 sq ft and probably pay at least 4 times your rent. But THIS is what happens when you move to new york. You start to think that sleeping 10 ft away from your stove is normal... that windows that don't look at brick walls is a luxury... that 2 closets is unheard of! So anyway we had a good chuckle about that. (And we're both still hoping for that bedroom one day)

After we fill our hungry lil tummies we continue on our way to find a rooftop bar because it is quite literally the most gorgeous day ever. Turns out EVERYTHING in midtown east is closed on sunday. It's absolutely mind-blowing. Is this not new york!?

We duck into Grand Central to use the restrooms and decide we'll do the outdoor seating at the Campbell Apartment at GCT... ALSO CLOSED. fail fail fail. I turn to my friend and say screw it. we're getting a drink in grand central. Turns out it was kind of endearing. You get to sit and watch the hustle of bustle of grand central without actually being in the mix.

Our peace and quiet didn't last long. To put it nicely... three people roll into this super swanky, high priced bar absolutely shmammered. They want the bartender to fill their señor frog-esque drink glasses. My friend and I start laughing cuz... well... our drinks cost $20 and it came in a flute soooo she's looking at a solid $200 drink to fill that thing up. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the bartender denies her in filling up the glass and tells her to order off the menu.

Next thing you know the crew is stumbling towards the train and crying. It really escalated quickly.

THE STORY CONTINUES.

I walked home from Grand Central (about a 35 min walk) almost immediately a man whispers to me "Hi, beautiful." and I'm all like ya. I know. lolz jk. sort of.. Then I stop at a deli to get dinner because remember? I gave up cooking! As I go to pay, the man at the cash register starts putting my ramen in a brown paper bag. I stop him and say that I don't need a bag. After a very long drawn out reasoning for why I need the bag... I take the bag. I start to leave and the man calls after me if I want hot sauce. Well of course I want hot sauce. Gimme the spicy! THEN as I go to leave again he literally BEGS me to take a banana. I refuse but his pleading makes me uncomfortable so I took a banana and SPRINTED out of the store.

That was my weekend. It was bizarre. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm a lil sad about it so like text me fun things. Great. Thanks boo boos.

This is where you live!

Ohh summer weekends in New York. How lovely and boozy you all are. Yesterday was another glorious summer day that my friends and I decided to spend in Central Park. YES. I'm talking stereotypical 20 somethings living in Manhattan, spending their days picnic-ing in the park. HOW BOUGIE. ( I don't even know if that's the proper spelling...)

Anyway. I get home and decide I need to eat at my wine bar because I am hungry and I need company. Duh. When I leave the wine bar I start thinking how I really need to go get water so I don't have a HO the next day. I pass by my apartment and my doorman starts flailing his arms and shouting "This is where you live!" I literally just burst out laughing and was like I KNOW WHERE I LIVE!! I'll be right back - I gotta go to the store! 

He laughs and I continue on my way. I get to the corner where I should have turned to go to CVS but I see the movie theater and it's like all I saw was a shiny object. Dun dun dun duuuunnn. THE MOVIE THEATERS. Yessss. I must see Me Before You! I've been waiting for so long! So I get myself a ticket, a coffee, and a water and I settle into a nice leather seat. Down the coffee. Down the water. End of the movie rolls around and I'm BAWLING. 

This is not a good look. 

I decide to just shuffle home as quickly as I can to go wash my face and get to bed when guess who is waiting for me outside of the apartment? My doorman... "I have been waiting for you! You said you'd be right back!" Doh.... ok pops. Didn't realize I was on a curfew. So then I had to stop and have this long conversation about how I saw the theaters and had to go there and then it was a sad movie and that's why my eyes are all red and I'll never do it again. blah blah blah. Finally make it to my apartment and call it a night. 

HASHTAG SATURDAYS

I have to make a new budget

Why do I have to make a new budget you ask? Ohhhh I don't know... it's just the fact that I came to the realization that I just DON'T cook. Like not even a little bit. And I know I know. I have one friend out there that's saying "I told you this so long ago!" And maybe that's true but tonight. Tonight was the night that I just came to terms it's not gonna happen. Ever.

Cooking in the midwest used to be fun because

1. Groceries are cheap
2. Kitchens have enough counter space that I'm fairly certain you could cook 18 meals and still have room for one more cutting board
3. I used to have roommates that I could talk to while I wasted my precious night hours on a meal I would finish eating in 15 minutes
4. I had nothing better to do

BUT NOW. Now I have to wait in line to even get INTO the grocery stores. (Don't make me post the Trader Joe's link again) Then I weasel my way through the store to find out I really don't want to buy anything because it either involves cooking in a kitchen I don't really have or it's too gaddamn expensive.

So I mean that's it. I'm handing in my metaphorical apron. This blog could take a severe turn because I'm pretty sure there's that saying about how the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. So if that's the case this blog is gonna get real sparse real soon. Plan B is to change this blog into how I can eat out for cheaper than cooking in the city. SO DON'T STEAL MY IDEA. It's documented. Right here. Basically like a copyright.


Also... don't believe me about my kitchen? Welp. Here it is.

When Grocery Stores Turn Hostile

Dun dun duuuuun. Here's a little bedtime story for you. Settle in kiddos

I had to go to Trader Joe's tonight. THE DREADED TRADER JOE'S. If you don't know why it's such a terrifying experience, check out this Buzzfeed link ... this is my life.

Alright so now you have the scene. Picture me in one of those labyrinth lines. I've rounded the produce section, made it down the granola bar aisle, past the samples and there I am in the home stretch. I can see the checkout "counters." Just as I'm getting a lil pep in my step I hear quite the commotion. Naturally, I turn around to see what's going on because I'M NOSEY LIKE THAT. About 10 feet behind me two women are having a screaming match. The woman in front was refusing to move her cart. The woman directly behind her was screaming at her to move.

This.
is.
epic.

The woman in front decides to take 1 step forward, closing the 10 ft gap by about... 6 inches. You assert that line power girlfrand. The woman behind her unsuccessfully calls over the "middle of the line" sign holder. This prompts the woman to stroll a few more feet. PROGRESS.

For some reason I'm the only one staring? I mean what else am I supposed to do in this line. This is free entertainment!

The women slowly crawl to the front of the line right to the guy who tells them which checkout counter to go to. Next thing I know the slow walking woman turns directly around and stares the other woman in the face. She then proceeds to say "AND DID YOU GET THERE ANY FASTER?? DID YOU??" My jaw hit the floor. Oh snaps we got some drama!! The other woman just starts shouting. Can't really remember what because I was laughing so hard. There was a fight. In a line. At the grocery store!! I love this!

I finally pay for my groceries and as I exit the store I see the slow moving shopper just WAITING outside for the other woman. I got so nervous slash excited that there was more to the story so I "pulled over" and watched for more drama. Unfortunately, the slow moving woman lost interest and left seconds before the other woman exited the store.

Can't wait for next week!

THIS Girl

Ok kids. This blog is taking a slightly different twist. Did you all see that viral video in which that bleach blonde chick goes on a rant and calls out her entire generation for being worthless piles? If not here you go: Youtube Link

I saw some people posting about this and thinking it's the greatest thing ever but I have the complete opposite opinion. Just going to lay out some thoughts below.

For as long as I have been working I have been asked to automate any and every part of my job so that we could hit our efficiency goals. In the first 2 years of my career I automated my job so much that I could hit 3 buttons in excel and my job was done. The sad part about this... while I was creating efficiencies for the generation ahead of me to report on... they were calling me lazy.

Another thing about my generation... we went through that fun lil thing in 2008-2009 when the financial markets just shit the bed. Let's remember what that was about.... a bunch of greedy a-holes taking the easy way out and ultimately screwing all of America out of their money. Sounds a lot like how the millennials are being described no?

We've also been called entitled. I mean... sure. I can't fight this one too much. I think my generation's parents have done an amazing job at building up their lives and providing for their families. Not knocking that at all. What I do think this girl is aiming at is the millennials' desire for constant promotion. Let me go back to the market crash again. We entered a job market that was downright awful. You were lucky to have a job, let alone a job that pays good money. But what has happened since the rebound? It seems to be a trend that companies report bad earnings, yet you still see record bonuses for upper management. Talk about reinforcement learning - why wouldn't they want to get promoted as quickly as possible?

As for the lack of social interaction, manners, etc. I AGREE. But I agree with this for every generation.

Finally... let's all remember that generation calling us lazy is the same generation that had hippies getting the same rap. History repeats itself no? All in all... people have faults at every age, no matter the generation. Instead of accusing we should try to understand why people do the things they do. Plus if we look for the good things each generation has to offer we could probably work better together... JUSSAYIN.

Don't Be So Basic

I woke up today and besides the realization that I was going to have to nurse a mini hangover... I also realized today is the first day in FOREVER that I didn't have any plans ... and. that.was.awesome.

I've been on this don't be boring kick and I think I'm doing a swell job at it. The only downfall is that work is nutso and I've been going non stop so I'm just always super tired. I know. I know. All five of my readers out there are probably like "cry me a river." So anyway the chances of you reading this blog and not being my Facebook friend is slim to none so I don't need to repeat what I've been up to but lemme say this... it's been super fun timez! Amazing what you can do with your time when you decide not to be boring.

Alright so back to the reason why I had this lil thing called a hangover this morning. I decided to do a boozy brunch... ALWAYS the best slash worst decision. That led to rooftop drinks at the Gansevoort. Sup Kim K. (Blog comes full circle). That leads to dinner. Which leads to dranks at the Standard Biergarten. Here it comes folks. The bouncer still remembers me from all my appearances last year. I'm really feeling that I'm about to get myself D list celeb status. All the feels people. ALL OF THEM.

On a completely different note - I've been working out with a trainer for about 4 months now and I'm feeling strong but I'm starting to get bummed because nobody has noticed my progress. This is not a subtle hint people... this is a demand. LOOK AT THAT BICEP. COMPLIMENT ME!

Which way to the beach?

Ok Ok... my bicep is kinda small. But I'm kind of small! Anyway ... it's a WIP. Arm wrestling bets will be a thing for a later date.

What else what else. I've started YEAR 2 of NYC living. Year 1 was figuring out how to survive. Year 2 is yet to be determined. I can officially say I've visited all 5 boroughs and also happy to say that I still live in the best one :) OH. Apparently a man died in his apartment across the hall from me. So that was a true NY experience. The daughter of the now dead man is squatting and there's a current attempt to evict her. WILD

So what else am I gonna do in year 2 of NYC living? Well I'm still trying to justify a dog but for some reason $2000+ seems a bit excessive for something that's going to require I pick up its poop. And most of you know that I'm a bit of a princess so it's not like I would really want to do that even if somebody was paying me. Year 2 is also filled with more bucket list items to be checked off. Tea at the plaza? Hamilton?? Walk the entire brooklyn bridge. Caviar and champs. Explore the art showcases.  Go to an opera. SO MANY THINGS. If you don't want to be boring I'd love some company. Company or not I'm gonna keep things exciting!

People are Minnesota Nice Until You Forget Your Manners

Hey gang! I'm back and settled into my apartment in Manhattan and have time to "reflect" on my Minnesota work trip. Shout out to my readers out there - oh haaaay!

Let's back this blog up to Monday night. I finally land in Minneapolis around 11 pm and I burst into the airport to be greeted by ... nothing. I'm all "hellloooo Minnesota!" and Minnesota's all like *crickets.* Ok that's fine. I was excited to get out of the hustle and bustle anyway.

I get myself into a "taxi" and immediately start laughing. We've managed to get the meter up to $10 and we hadn't even left the airport so I can see I'm in for a cheap ride to the hotel. We're about five minutes into the ride and there's a grand total of 2 other cars on the road and just GUESS what my driver decides to do. He HONKS. The mother trucker HONKS. You can bet your bottom dollar that I shot the worst death glare his way. Everything goes off fine after that and I get myself into the hotel... just in time for some quick shut eye.

The next morning I make my way into the office and I'm literally the only one on the sidewalks... starting to think I may be the only person in all of St. Paul. On my walk (which is all of 6 minutes) I see ERBS AND GERBS and DUNN BROTHERS. My life is complete. If you don't know what they are... get yourself to Minnesota and experience the awesomeness. Anyway this just puts me in the best mood ever.

I work my lil heart out all day and find myself at a bar later that night with a few friends. Turns out I was the only one on the sidewalks because there's this thing called the skyway. Oh you Minnesotans. You so clever. Anyway. The night was fabulous and am so happy to have those memories with old friends!

The next day at work I get Chipotle. And something odd happens. I get a little bit of a death glare from a woman. After I got back from the trip I was explaining this interaction to my friend Emily. I'm just gonna put our conversation here. I'm the grey box and Emily has the lil blue person next to the words. Please enjoy the most absurd conversation about ordering beans from a Chipotle.

I Got a death glare from a woman

so i'm at chipotle cuz its all i could find that was quick hhaa

(ok touche lol)

and i'm just like "yea i'll have a bowl with white rice." and they ask all their questions and i just responded with what i wanted

and i dont know if i sounded like a bitch but the woman ahead of me just like turned and stared

and i was like... what is happening.

why is this a problme

we're ordering food

wait you just ordered a bowl with plain rice?

well thats the answer to the first two questions

the first person asks if its a burrito or a bowl

and if its to go

and then white or brown rice

so i just saved them the effort

bowl to go with white rice

then the next person goes what kind of meat? 

or something like that

so i was just being efficient 

idk i think i must have sounded angry. its my only theory i got

you just said it again? probably

you could have been like oh, no, I just only want the rice bowl, nothing else and then like smiled

yea i didnt do that

yeah

haha

I can picture what you did do

and its funny for me

hahahha

thats funny to me

only cause I know you're not a mean person hahaha

yea i think its me then cuz they werent nice to me at dunn bros either

whatever

i'm gonna start being nicer

to fast food people

in an attempt to re-submerge myself in midwest culture

lots more smiling

i dont think i ever smiled before ny

either

i dont have RBF

but i dont have a smiley face either

ok but next time i can def be less direct with my ordering

out here you just shout everything real fast 

next time i'll be like

you can be direct, just put some finesse into it

hiiii how are you

smile a few times

i think a bowl sounds super great today

hahahahaha

*smiles*

you're so extreme

one or the other for you

and gosh. i dont know. chicken sound nummy

no happy medium

lollol

bhahhhaha

yea i am all or nothing

no just like 1 smile and a thanks! but like allll or nothing

well if they say do you want beans and i dont

you really would be like no! *smiles*

you'd be like nope

or no i'm good thanks! *smiles*

or no thanks

yea i just said no

no wait

yeah

i said "no beans"

haha

hahahahahah

do you want beanS? "no beans"

its normal!

dont tell me thats not normal

yeah you got the stink eye cause you came off as rude I think

hhahahaha

THIS. this. i'm standing my ground on lol

yea totally

they totally thought i was rude lol

hahahahah

so just don't do that

and you'll be golden

at first when i started the story i was like might be reading into it

but the more we discuss yes.

i mean

no beans thank you?

i would not like ze beans today thanks

i'm wonderful thanks!

hold the beans please!

*grins*

beans upset my stomach. not today young fella

hahahaha

AHHH HAHAHAHAHAH

hahhahah

we got to bring it back a notch

hahahhaa

well i am JUST SAYIGN

no beans seams like a fantastic way to say... no beans

god i might have to blog about it

I mean, you just repeated back to them only meaner

haha

hahahahha

@meaner cause thats funny

lol

right

now i'm kinda crackin up

but like

beans? NO BEANS

LOL

i didnt shout it!

there was no inflection

beans. no beans.

it was as monotone as could be

hahahhaha

beans. no beans. 

dying

thats the problem!

monotone

lol

= I don't care why are you asking me this

hahahhaha

well yea

like they're jsut trying to do their job

i said chicken in the same tone

BUT

and you're like I cannot be bothered with you peasants

when i was done i said "that's it!"

anything else?

thats it!

exclamation point!!!

Im good. thanks!

LOL

thanks

sotp

thats key

stop*

manners

now i'm kinda laughing

i have them

hahahaha

just don't use them?

orrrrrr

when waiters bring me anything i always say thank you

when they handed me my food after i paid i said thank you

well they're bringing you your food too

you can say it more than once and in a nice tone

if somebody holds my door i say thank you

but like

as monotone as possible?

cause that's my fav part so far

hahahha

like is this actually a thing or are we making it a thing

cuz this is getting kinda funny

in like a not funny way

hahaha um? Im not sure what you're saying

I think its hysterical that we just went on a rant about it for like 10 mins?

like are we being extreme with this scenario

hahahha

yea thats what i'm saying

we're extreme about literally everything

like did i aaaactually change to a monotone no beans type of person

hahaha we do cross the line on almost everything

such rebels

yeah no I think you're there. you are a monotone no beans gal

tears

lollol

you've been east long enough

its time to come home

#THEEND