You Could Fit In My Trunk

Ohhh haaaayyy! I'm back! No, I didn't give up on the blogging thing already... I just was busy seeing the west coast behind a haze of wine goggles. However, I think Cali got it all wrong. Death Valley is definitely in Napa. Definitely. Thought about creating a shirt that says I survived Napa Valley with Napa crossed out and Death written above it. Maybe that's my new business venture if blogging doesn't get me famous here soon. So anyway. Here I sit back on the east coast just bursting with stories. Lucky for you I could blog for daaaays.

But since none of us has days to sit and read my stories, let's do a cliffnotes version of my trip to California:
- Starting in NY we decided to go east to Cali. We were not boy scouts. How are we supposed to know how to use a compass.
- Got car service at 3 am from a drunk man who realllly likes Taylor Swift. "Feelin twenty twooooo" Help me Baby J
- Saw the sights of Sacramento from a bike... and a hatchback trunk... really beautiful stars out there
- Had an enlightening experience in which I learned the 5 dollar bill is ALSO considered a dollar bill yet vending machines are selective and only accept 1 dollar bills...
- On day 5 of the trip I had to ask what time the sun sets in Cali. FYI It's approximately 9:15

So when I was telling my friends about the trunk situation, a friend surprisingly asked "you can fit in a trunk?!" I naturally replied "well you could fit in my trunk!" awkward siiiilence and theeen laughter. Fast forward to a little bit later in the night when we are all on the subway... a very crowded subway... I look over to my friend and say "at least we have poles this time!" More silence. More laughter.  The point I was really trying to make was that I wasn't train surfing this time and I was so pleased to have a pole to hang on to. Despite my adventures with the Pussycat Doll workout video... I have had no experiences with poles of any sort.

Also. Cali has a severe lack of bros. Looks like I'm living in the land of the bros. Plenty of material to keep this blog going.