Lucky Juror Number 13.. doh!

You're welcome

That's just a lil background music to keep you distracted while you read this bomb post. First... It's Sunday and I've survived somewhat of a bender with my cousin and midwest bests. We drank a lot and talked a lot about how good we are at drinking. Now that you're all caught up lemme tell ya about some of the other things I've gotten into lately.

Let's talk about my jury duty. Ya... get excited. About 2 months ago I got that scary red letter in the mail "summoning" me for some New York Supreme court serious as fuh biznass. Cool. Guess I'll show up. Turns out I accctually had to use the subway to get down there which is somewhat disappointing but it's fine. New experiences right?! .....

Got myself downtown by city hall and see these BEAUTIFUL buildings with pillars and sculptures and things you see in the movies. NEWSFLASH.... I wasn't in those buildings. I was in some ratchet building 2 blocks away that could have easily been a jail at one point. Still up in the air. Awesome. This is starting off so well. 

Wait in line to go through security. Set off the alarm. They just have me walk back and forth a few times with my arms in different positions until it finally stops beeping. Seems like really secure safety protocol. "No it's fine. Just do the YMCA while walking through and we're good," said no security guard ever. 

Anyway. I sat in a windowless room for 2 days. If you ever want to see what real new york looks like... find yourself in a room waiting for jury duty selection. On day 1 I thought I had a creeper that wouldn't stop following me around. He didn't say words. He didn't make eye contact but he grunted a lot so I mean that was cool. If you don't think that's scary try being trapped in a room with a guy that you think is following you. TERRIFYING. Day 2 I sat and listened to a man and woman discuss the Bible. I need not say more. Everything you think could happen... did happen. 

After 2 days of that.... I got put on a criminal case. Couldn't tell you what it was about because I was waaaay too busy staring at the Ryan Gosling look alike attorney. JK JK. Apppparently the court system says you can't talk to the attorneys or judge or anybody on the case while it's going on so I gave up on Ryan Gosling v.2 and set my eyes on the very burly looking courtroom guard. I waved a few times and just as we were progressing to more than just "hi" and "bye," the case got settled. I thought it might be too aggressive to slip him my number as they're escorting the jurors out of the courtroom? I-D-K. Could be my biggest life mistake. TBD

To summarize for you: all my haters are sooooo wrong. I'm a super not biased, non judgmental person... United States legal system told me so....sort of.