This Blog Lacks Inspiration

Let me just point your attention to the blog title... ok so this one's on you if you don't like the blog cuz like... I already told you so. 

So March was a whirlwind month and it's so bittersweet that it's over. I saw friends from my Minnesota life, my cousin and co, my PARENTS, and still had plenty of time to party for my FAVORITE green beer holiday. Note picture below:

"Beer me!"

Merp. Turns out that pic is from a few St Paddy's ago but the pic sums up all the st paddy feels. Anyway. After all that excitement I couldn't be happier to be curled up in my bed with no plans this week except detoxing and sleeping. 

With THAT said... I bet I'll be making excuses to break away from the detox by Wednesday. I mean I have worked realllly hard at getting "regular" status at my neighborhood wine bar and I don't want them to think I'm abandoning them. Took me a solid year and loads of money later to FINALLY get a free round which leads me to a good story....

First day my cousin and friend are here, just so happens to be ST PATRICKS DAY. dun dun duuunnn. After multiple bars and multiple crappy drinks, I have the brilliant idea of getting some DIRTAY MARTINAYYYSS at my local spot. Seemed like a great idea. Naturally we walk in and get greeted by the owner who quickly leaves for the night cuz it's a weekday and it's late. Good news. The bartender loves us and is really into our conversation. We finish our drinks and are deciding what to do wheennnn she just so happens to pour us A FREE ROUND. Solid. Thinking back on this, two dirtay martinays probz wasn't the best idea after an entire night of drinking. Guess that explains the 12 am run to Times Square.... and the street meat followed by $1 slices. OOPS. 

I'm seeing a trend here. March was my month! The prior weekend I was in the burbs doing a lil early celebration of St Paddys (I tend to over-celebrate a lot of things...) and I was in my old fav watering hole. I showed up in my supes cute forrest green skirt and some non-festive top. Out of no where Paco (fav waiter) swoops in to give me a big old hug and to wish me happy holidayz (lolz). Paco quickly notices something and tells me to hold tight. After a quick tick Paco has returned with a st paddys tshirt from the bar WITH a great guinness necklace. HASHTAG REGULAR STATUS. 

Know what this should teach all these kids out there? If  you try hard enough and if you spend your life savings at a couple of bars you'll get a free round of drinks (when you really don't need it) AND a crappy green t shirt. But the memories kids.... the memories might be fuzzy.... but they were worth it.

Lucky Juror Number 13.. doh!

You're welcome

That's just a lil background music to keep you distracted while you read this bomb post. First... It's Sunday and I've survived somewhat of a bender with my cousin and midwest bests. We drank a lot and talked a lot about how good we are at drinking. Now that you're all caught up lemme tell ya about some of the other things I've gotten into lately.

Let's talk about my jury duty. Ya... get excited. About 2 months ago I got that scary red letter in the mail "summoning" me for some New York Supreme court serious as fuh biznass. Cool. Guess I'll show up. Turns out I accctually had to use the subway to get down there which is somewhat disappointing but it's fine. New experiences right?! .....

Got myself downtown by city hall and see these BEAUTIFUL buildings with pillars and sculptures and things you see in the movies. NEWSFLASH.... I wasn't in those buildings. I was in some ratchet building 2 blocks away that could have easily been a jail at one point. Still up in the air. Awesome. This is starting off so well. 

Wait in line to go through security. Set off the alarm. They just have me walk back and forth a few times with my arms in different positions until it finally stops beeping. Seems like really secure safety protocol. "No it's fine. Just do the YMCA while walking through and we're good," said no security guard ever. 

Anyway. I sat in a windowless room for 2 days. If you ever want to see what real new york looks like... find yourself in a room waiting for jury duty selection. On day 1 I thought I had a creeper that wouldn't stop following me around. He didn't say words. He didn't make eye contact but he grunted a lot so I mean that was cool. If you don't think that's scary try being trapped in a room with a guy that you think is following you. TERRIFYING. Day 2 I sat and listened to a man and woman discuss the Bible. I need not say more. Everything you think could happen... did happen. 

After 2 days of that.... I got put on a criminal case. Couldn't tell you what it was about because I was waaaay too busy staring at the Ryan Gosling look alike attorney. JK JK. Apppparently the court system says you can't talk to the attorneys or judge or anybody on the case while it's going on so I gave up on Ryan Gosling v.2 and set my eyes on the very burly looking courtroom guard. I waved a few times and just as we were progressing to more than just "hi" and "bye," the case got settled. I thought it might be too aggressive to slip him my number as they're escorting the jurors out of the courtroom? I-D-K. Could be my biggest life mistake. TBD

To summarize for you: all my haters are sooooo wrong. I'm a super not biased, non judgmental person... United States legal system told me so....sort of.