Well I'm No Sacajawea

I'm clearly not a descendant of Sacajawea. She can lead Lewis and Clark across fricken 'Merica but I can't even get from Grand Central to the nearest watering hole... AND I use an iphone! I once was within blocks of Grand Central and somehow landed myself by the highway staring at the water. "Welp. This can't be right." Merrrrr. Pulled out my handy dandy iphone to give me directions back to GCT. After shuffling down a few one ways I quickly realize the directions are for when I'm IN A CAR. Blaaah. Fail fail fail.

So what do I do this weekend? I hike. Not a good idea for the directionally challenged. Twenty feet into what I call "the jungle" I want to turn back. It's cold. It's raining. And I'm HO. The whole time I'm dodging plants that I claimed were poison ivy (nobody wants a girl that's got an itchy rash) and trying to navigate out of the jungle without crossing any mountain lions or other mountainous creatures. After awhile we come across a wonderful fork in the road and a trail map. Option 1: South Loop Option 2: South Loop Shortcut. I'll take the shortcut thanks. 50 feet later another fork. Option 1: Quest Option 2: South Loop. My roommate asks which one we should take and I firmly state "South Loop" since nowhere on the map was there a mention of Quest and I'm not looking for any new adventures. So we climb some rocks, cross some creeks, dodge some low hanging branches and only fall once, just to find out... we went the wrong way. Now... there's nothing more depressing than realizing you have to go back through the jungle you just survived and then go on some path that the hiking gods call "the quest." Ugh. Get.Me.Home. This jungle is more treacherous than I expected and all I can think about is how I'm going to be the star of the next "I survived" episode. Thanks Bio channel for getting me hooked.

What do I do in a state of panic? Why I sing Disney songs of course. No other place happier than Disney. A few Pocahontas and Little Mermaid songs later... we're back on the right "path!" All hesitations I had before have gone out the window and I'm flying towards the exit (or where I think the exit should be). Finally back in the car I make the life decision that maybe...juuuust maybe... hiking and/or being outdoors is not something I can list as something I like to do... unless there's more beer of course. :)

"If I smile it will look like I'm having fun right?"