This Is A Serious Post...

Noooot. Hello. Last night was Friday, I'm sitting here with a HO (hangover), and I ended my night with Cheeburger Cheeburger loaded fries. I.Have.Stories.

So my close friends know that when it's late in the night and I order a vodka water or a dirtay marti-nay I need to be cut off. When I know I need to hydrate but don't want to stop partying... I go for the vodka waters. When I'm hungry and not ready to leave the bar, I order the Dirty Martini so I can eat the olives. Just call me a professional drinker. Anywho, last night I start out the night with a dirty martini which makes me think there's no way I can wake up with a HO since I'm starting the night rather than ending the night with the dirtay martinay. LIES.

The guys were traveling in packs last night. Multiple herds of bros yet my roommate and I were just chillin at the bar not talking to any of them. One brave soul approached us and opened up with  "well you two look like you've been having loads of fun for the last hour or so." Red flag. Red flag! I'm not concerned with the fact that I look miserable... I'm concerned with the fact that thiiiss is his pick up line.  But since I can't pretend to be interested in the basketball game anymore I decide to talk to him.

Long story short, El Suave had convinced us to move locations in the bar so that we're closer to his pack 'o' bros. The first guy approaches and I hear "I own a company, and houses and apartments (blah blah blah I'm bored) and my dog commutes back and forth with me in a purse." WUT? Did that just happen?? Got my attention there and definitely don't want to talk to youuu anymore.

Incoming bro #2! His personality is similar to Michael from That 70's Show mixed with the back woods of West Virginia. AKA not all that smart. "Oh Iowa? That capital is Dessss Moin-esss right?" Well um. No, that's not how the English language works but at least he knows his capitals so I'll let that one slide. Fast forward the conversation to when my roommate death grips my arm and is hysterically laughing. "He thought Seeee-ox City was the capital until he found out it was in South Dakota!" Maybe it's the liquor at this point or just my general state of being but I'm confused. "See-ox City. Ya know... SIOUX CITY!" HAAAA. Time to exit stage left and salvage the night with some loaded fries  from my favorite late night establishment, Cheeburger Cheeburger.

I made the mistake of not using any adjectives in the name of my blog. More Bros might have been a bit too vague.