You Can Thank Verizon for this Post

Ok here I sit before going out and doing my single gal thing. How does my hair look?!?

See that action shot?!

Cool. Let's continue. So my phone has officially come to "end of life." It was just straight garbage thanks to Apple making phones less and less awesome over the years so I cut out at lunch on Thursday to get me a new cellular device. Turns out... I encountered the most aggressive sales person ever (he also happens to like my hair). I force this sales man to explain to me for an hour how I could possibly be making out better if I buy an iPad. When I sit and do all the math (yes. finance) I decide it's for real. So I tell him that I'm in but he's gotta make this happen FAST. I gots a job to do!

A few system glitches along the way and the Mr. Salesman tells me they're out of iPads until APRIL. the fuh. I'm like dude. I got to go! I'll come back tomorrow. He takes my phone and calls his phone... seems sketch no? Looking back I think I may have acquired a stalker. Perhaps a later blog post.

Good ol' Friday rolls around and as my team rolls out to go to the gym, I vigilantly make my way back to Verizon. Mr. Salesman is with another customer so I wait. Next thing I know... my whole world changes. A woman rolls in sits next to me and is like "this seems like a great place to sit and check my messages!" Oh ok... sure?

For the next 45 mins. FORTY FIVE. This woman talks at me about how she used to be a model and you know. She still is a model and her type of work requires her to have a phone and take candid pictures so naturally she asks me to take her picture on what must be a burner phone. She fixes her hair for 5 mins while telling me her favorite skin and hair care products are. I take the picture. Can't just take 1. Must take 3. She gives up and says it's alright. She needs to upload it to this site because she wants to try and book a gig in the area right at that moment (it's now 430 pm on a Friday). Things are starting to seem a lil sketch.

I assume she will leave once she uploads the photo but ohhhh how wrong I was.

She wants to discuss my career. Naturally she has also been in the financial industry. She was there for 5 years but was only supposed to be there for 2 years FYI.

Meanwhile other Verizon employees stop over to see if she needs anything and she responds "no, we're ok thank you!" To which I'm literally throwing out the SOS signs. This woman is bat shit cray.

Next story she stumbles upon is how her mother is dead and that's why you got to spread love where you go.

Then we discuss coconut oil. Great for hair, skin and cooking.

Then we discuss how she was in a Bloomingdales ad but the woman in the store thought she was Asian

Which leads to a job lead she had but they wanted a Black-Asian mix with blonde hair.

Which leads to her talking about how her new life goal is to start a non profit.

But then she got sidetracked and wanted to discuss her bag envy since she was carrying 3 bags and I only had 1. (sketch city)

Back to the non profit. She needs a finance person eventually to which I fiiiinnally say "yes. you will eventually need that."

Then she gives up. Gives me her name. Tells me how pretty I am and that she wishes me all the best and that God blesses me and that hopefully we cross paths again.

.....

 Just when I think it's over. Some extremely large fellow starts screaming at this poor 5 ft nothing girl. Naturally I pull out my phone. Got to document this! But oh wait. Still have my garbage phone.

Somehow the dust settles.

Mr. Salesman returns. He tells me since they can't give me the iPad he'll just give me all the promos that go along with it! Win!We spend another hour deciding phone cases cuz... well.. gotta be cute duh.

As I go to leave Mr. Salesman tells me to stop back anytime to which I laugh and say "not a chance."