Vday Bro V dot 2

I'm not even going to be humble about this first statement... this WILL BE the most epic blog post ever. It may not be the most hilarious but it will FER SURE blow your mind.

Now that I got that out of the way. Let's get back to Valentine's Day weekend, my most favorite single girls night to go out. Friday night, aka Valentine's Day Eve, my friends and I decide to do a casual dinner at my favorite sushi place. I should have known that it wasn't going to be casual when one of my friends texts and says "we might need to shake it tonight." Hindsight is 20/20, folks.

We get our cute lil selves over to the sushi establishment (ps why do all of my blogs revolve around this place? I'm starting to see a trend). We eat some great sushi and have plenty of classy drinks. Welp guess we need to check out our favorite watering hole to see some of our favorite bartenders. This is where the night escalates... and it escalates quickly.

Because we're girls and we're cute, we were all like ohhh we gotta take a picture!! So we get the group of guys over in the corner to take our picture. What a smooth move. Next thing you know I discover there's a guy from Iowa... and he's 6'5.... OF COURSE the tallest guy in the bar and the shortest girl in the bar are from the same state. Match made in heaven!

We spend the night talking about what type of farmer he is, where we went to school, how Nordic we are etc etc etc. End of the night rolls around (a night that probably should have ended 2 hours earlier than it did) and he asks for my number because I mean... who wouldn't want my number? C'mon. So my friends and I head home. I get all snuggled into my bed and I get a text from Iowa bro "are you still at the bar?" Well this is confusing. I just left you bro! No, I'm in bed. "aw ok. I will text you tomorrow." Internal thought: ha he's in love. Must be love drunk. Also... I'm very upset he changed his Iowa number and now has a NY number. Long live Iowa!

To speed up the story let's cliff notes the next few days. We text back and forth and Iowa bro is trying to meet up for drinks. I'm not really into the Iowa bro but we Nordic folk have to stick together ya know? So I say "Ya. We fer sure should meet up!"

Thursday is the day. I start to panic. I don't actually know Iowa bros name. Ugh. Struggles. It's fine. I just won't ever say his name. He'll have to say it eventually. I get myself over to the bar we're meeting at and I actually get there first. DUMB. Why am I here first?! So I wait... I wait a lil more and then a guy walks in. Stops. Looks at me. "Hey Ashley!" Gives me a big ol' hug. And then I just freeze and stare....  He then says "do you want to sit down?" HOLY CRAP I'M PANICKING! What is happening!? Who is this guy!? Where is the 6'5 Iowa guy!? So I finally say something... and that something is noooot the most elegant thing I've ever said. "I'm sorry.... am I meeting you!?" And his response was "uh yea. I think so. We texted that we were going to meet here."

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OHMIGOD. Takes me another 30 seconds to realize that THIS is the bro I met BEFORE I met the Iowa bro. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. 1. He has a NY phone number because he's FROM NY. 2. He asked me if I was still at the bar because he wasn't with me AT THE BAR.  I've been talking to this guy the whole time and thought it was Iowa bro!! My life has been a web of lives!

Well now what do I do? Try and cover my tracks clearly. "oh my gosh. yes! i'm so sorry. please let's sit down!" ... not smooth. I spend the rest of the night being on my best behavior and acting especially nice.

I didn't think I would be able to top last year's valentine's day stories but oh... I did. And I did it in a big way.

Valentine's Day Bro Strikes Again

Who would have thought that a young lad I met a year ago on Valentine's Day would have such an impact on my life!

So... after weeks of allowing vday bro to view my snapchat stories without any other forms of communication, I decided to block him on the snaps. Like bro. You're the worst stalker ever. Anyway. It's a lovely (and by lovely I mean disturbingly cold) night in the city and I go to din din at an amazing place called ABC Kitchen with a friend. We leave and I head towards the subway but I'm all bizz-nasss cuz it's cold and I'm all like. Get me home! I see the motherland aka the uptown subway entrance and I start bolting across the street when I pass by a couple... and... wait for it.... IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY BRO! Ohhhhh snap! I keep scurrying across the street but we FER SURE have eye contact. I quickly text my friends I was with the night I met vday bro to let them know about the most recent encounter to which we all have a mini tizzy about the randomness. BUT THEN..... once I finally get on the train and I'm processing what happened I realize the girl he was with was super cute! Gahhhhh. How did he win in this situation. So I text the gals again about the cute girl to which I get a response telling me that it's ok. she might be cuter but she probably has an annoying voice.... So I mean... that made me laugh so hard that I started to get awkward stares on the train. Immediately following that I saw a woman with a cd walkman and since I have an attention span of a fish I forgot about vday steve and started quoting Home Alone in my head because let's face it Home Alone MADE the Walkman what it is... or was...?

PS get excited for Valentine's Day stories next week! The blog will surely be revived after this weekend!

PPS these blogs are getting increasingly worse #notimetoproofread