A different type of blog...

Well it's 4 am, and I'm wide awake. All day yesterday I kept thinking about the blog post I wanted to make but never got around to it because I was too busy napping. Sorry not sorry. So anyway... what better time than now to share my thoughts with everyone, and who knows what my thoughts at 4 am will bring.

Like I had alluded to before in my posts, I have a week between starting a new job at a great company and I'm so excited. I have to admit I started out the week with high anxiety. There are so many unknowns and I'm leaving behind a career and reputation that I built up for the past 5 years that I won't be able to fall back on. Some may call me quite the little risk taker.... ;) but anywho. This isn't a blog about bros or beer but it's about what I've learned in the last 5 days or so.

I have had the amazing opportunity to do anything my heart desires every day when I wake up and it has been amazing. I started to feel like myself again. Call me cheesey... I don't really care but it's true. It's the most liberating feeling to wake up every day and do whatever sounds most fun. I get it. People can't go through life without a job and waking up to do whatever they want, but if you ever get the chance to not have any responsibilities... TAKE IT. I've not laughed so hard in so long. Lingered. Wandered. Rambled aimlessly to myself. Talked to strangers etc in the longest time. I'm truly happy and it feels great.

On Wednesday I decided to go into the city to meet up with a high school friend with full intentions to work on finding that trophy husband, but what happened was so much more meaningful and fun. My friend and I took on the city as our playground and reverted back to acting 18 again. Our first stop? Central Park. As we're laying out, belting out Pat Benatar and Fleetwood Mac songs I look over to my friend and say "... I have to do yoga in the park." Her response was not one of judgment. It was an instant "DOOO IT!!!" So we did some yoga. Laughed obnoxiously. Fell back in silence when I notice my friend is blowing on her hands with a piece of grass between her thumbs. She looks over to me and asks "How do you blow this?" My natural and completely innocent response.... "it has to be thick and long to blow." We laughed. We laughed so hard we cried.

After more karaoke-ing my friend looks to me and says that we need margaritas. I don't think twice about this. Of course we need margaritas. Who needs Cinco de Drinko when you can have Siete de Drinko?! Doesn't take us long to get to our margarita-serving establishment and ole!

Fast forward through much of the day of wondering around aimlessly and put us in another bar on the Upper West. Our conversation started with nothing else but crop tops which led to a heated debate about American Pop culture and how women are subjected to dress more scandalously. The bar tender approaches super cautiously and asks what we're debating and why. I kinda brush him off and look to my friend to quote our favorite Will Farell/Harry Carray clip "Mad cow disease... your thoughts?" Annnd we're back to roaring laughter. We ended our night laying on our stomachs in front of the tv watching SVU. Life was great.

Maybe you wanted to hear about my day with my friend. Maybe you didn't. But what that day taught me was that it's not worth it to sit around wondering what other people are thinking. I didn't think twice about what others around me were thinking. When I was with my friend, she had my attention and I was not worrying about what I was gonna do when I got home or who I was going to see the next day. I lived in the moment. I laughed in the moment. I spent at least the last year of my life beating myself up on pleasing others. Advancing my career. Networking. Searching for the perfect guy. Working out to have that in shape body. And don't get me wrong... these are important things to do and I won't stop doing them in the future, but I lost track of myself in doing these things. I forgot to take the "me" time. I forgot to let loose. I forgot to listen to what my body was telling me. I allowed myself to be judged by others and would beat myself up over those judgments.

I'm sure life stresses will creep back into my life and I will slip back into some of my old ways but I hope I can remember this week and what it has taught me. When you stop worrying about what others think and accept yourself for who you truly are, nothing but greatness can come from the situation. And if you're sitting there reading still and judging me for being too cliche or corny... I honestly just don't care. Because while you're busy having negative thoughts... I'm probably out having another hilarious adventure.

Day 2 ...

'Twas an unsuccessful day. Mostly because I forgot the purpose of my limited and numbered days to complete the goal but also because I was not on top of my game. Failure 1: did not get cute for the gym yet saaaaw cut boys at the gym. Woops. Failure 2: spent more time staring at clothes, shoes, accessories than anything (or anybody) else. Failure 3: When cat called on my way home which started with a "oh hey home guuurl" I did not respond. OH WAIT. That was my smart girl brain kicking in. Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

Success story of the night? Got to hang out with a prettttty neat group of dashing men and faaabulous gals for a highly competitive game of trivia.

We shall see what tomorrow brings but I have to admit... having a goal to accomplish on your week off is quite exhausting and I feel like I'm losing interest quite quickly!

Trophy Husband Hunting ... Day 1

Well kids. Here I am with one week completely free in between jobs. With the realization that being a trophy wife hasn't transpired for me, I decided to find myself a trophy husband. That's right. Just find me somebody pretty to look at. That's all I ask.

With that said... here I am on day 1 just sitting in my apartment after a very unsuccessful morning. I woke up (past 8 am!!), enjoyed my morning coffee, and then got ready for the gym. Yup... I got ready for the gym. After spending a month at this fancy gym and seeing how all the other ladies dress, I decided that I was a total scrub and was fer sure not gonna find me a gentleman caller at the gym. So anywho I got all did up and drive myself over to my fancy lil gym.

I has arrived! Everyone come see how good I look! *crickets* Walk up the stairs and see trainer #1 who I actually have no idea who he is but he's seen me out and about and has decided we're best friends. I give him a lil bro handshake and we make some small talk and I carry on my way, scanning the gym for potential prospects when all of a sudden I see him. My butt touching personal trainer. Noooooooo. Avoid avoid avoid. I find myself a treadmill away from the BTPT (butt touching personal trainer) when I see a figure approaching. *please don't be him. please don't be him. doh. it's him* He says some things and then asks me if we've scheduled more sessions in which I make up some lame excuse as to why I'm definitely NOT scheduling more time with him. He lingers a bit longer then leaves me alone. Whew. Ok. So... I am getting in the groove of my work out and remember the reason why I'm here. Trophy husband hunting! Scan the room again annnnd ... nothing. The gym is filled with women. Ahhh fudge. I'm now just working out with the rich housewives who've been successful at becoming a trophy wife. I give up on my search and finish up my workout.

Perhaps day 2 of trophy husband hunting will be more successful. If not.... at least I'll be spending my monies shopping :)